How can I forget Hansel and Grethel!?

How can I forget Hansel and Grethel!? On our way today in some village to pick up some people, my eyes were fascinated by the medieval rostoque houses that we passed by. I suddenly felt something like it was a Deja boo, there's some feeling inside of me that says, I think I saw this style of the house before. Well, literally the European style of houses as you can imagine were typical it has a vector design of the ceiling and walls were painted in orange color. I, then remember that this was the picture that my father use to paint in our imagination as he often delivers a bedtime story to me and my brother. In that dark house where I grew up. Yes, it was deemed where I could only see a tiny fire produced by a kerosine gas. I live with my father and brother after our mother left. It was really one of the saddest part in our life when my father went home in shock. He came home without knowing that it would only be the three of us that will live alone. Every night, he would always tell his favorite line of bedtime story, especially the name of the characters, Hansel and Grethel. I really don't mind that much what this story all about when I was young until I reach this age. All I could remember was the name and the description of the house where he mentioned one time that it was a cake house, that's all. After 26 years, when I got to pass by a house that seems too familiar and I don't know where I exactly saw it before, a character suddenly popped up in my mind. Hansel and Grethel, but I was too confused who are these people. Why on earth, it would suddenly flash out after seeing those houses. In the new technological era, we have google who could give an answer to some of our unattended questions. So, I grabbed my phone and searched Hansel and Grethel. Alas, google showed me a picture of 2 kids, a boy and a girl in front of a vector–like house. In order to feed my curiosity, I started reading to get to know the whole concept, and while grasping the synopses of the story my tears began to fall. I miss my father and was trying to embrace the moment of that night that he was telling the bedtime story of Hansel and Grethel. It resonates with a lot of occurrences in our personal life, it took me more than 2 decades before realizing that the story is describing about the three of us. There was this part of the story where the father was left alone in the house waiting for both Hansel and Grethel to come home. He was so sad that he missed them both after they ran away because of their stepmother when she's still alive. I can imagine how my father would stand in front of the window, with his eyes looking far beyond hoping that one day his two kids would return too to ease his loneliness. After our mother left us, we only stayed a few months with my father and we're sent to our aunties because he can't support us financially in which he doesn't have a stable job. So, he doesn't have the choice, but to make the most difficult decision in his life for our sake. Prior to our separation, there was never a night that he would keep instilling the Hansel and Grethel's story in our memory. I never realized that I became the Grethel in my own story where I have to make sure the welfare of my brother. Similar to the character, Hansel has been always fearful and Grethel has been always the one to assure that everything will be okay for Hansel. My brother is currently suffering from schizophrenia and has no one to lean on, but me. No one can relate how challenging it was to have a family member that has undergone with a traumatic and psychological problem. Still, I am thankful to God who gave me the strength to surpass everything and to my father who used to be my anchor when it comes to forgiveness, I am very grateful that he reminded me to be always at peace with myself so that I can obtain healing. Due to the situation of my brother, everyone tried to stay away from us or even disowned us. But I am no longer swayed by it because I still have my brother and we have each other, even if it was just the two of us to continue surviving in this world surrounded by inconsiderate people. I will never forget what my father in heaven who use to remind me on our bedtime story to always help each other and be the comfort of each other. It took me a lot of years to understand why I only have this one bedtime story when I was young, it's because he wants me to be reminded that I have to help my brother no matter what the adversities that may come. I have to be my brother's strength especially in his situation right now. It is now clear to me, why my father would always repeat the bedtime story of Hansel and Gretel way back. It's because he knows that one day, we will be on our separate ways. Even if we don't have our own home to go back to, we still have each other's back as siblings. The whole universe is currently celebrating Father's Day, but I have to remember this moment as the 4th Memorial Day of my father as he passed away last June 18, 2019. With tears in my eyes while writing this, I always treasure the humble lessons that my father had taught me. To everyone who still has their parents with them, no matter how good or bad they are. Please treasure the days you spent together and the wisdom they are trying to impart because you will never understand everything in life until you go on your own way to the adulting stage. Happy Father's day to all the head of the family who never stops to become the father, even if they have nothing to offer in their family financially, but still, they stand to be the core strength of their children emotionally and psychologically.

Victim of Love (9 OFFICES)

Biblically speaking, we all know that God was the first victim of love for He was crucified for the sake of human salvation.
That is how God expresses His infinite Love for us. He was hurt, He suffered because He love.
In today's generation, only few could truly understand why God became the first victim. It's because most of the creatures who were born in the technological society were already blinded with the mysterious existence of our Almighty. Even in understanding love, we all have a different shape of it. As a soul searcher, I personally have a different view in life and in history. But, when I began to experience God's love, I already have the idea of why he was crucified. Yes, I already know the reason why. However, I'm not yet sure how's that feeling until I realized it through my own experience.
When I was on my teenage years, I was attracted to the religious life. The desire was intense during that time. I was 18 when I finally decided to enter in the convent and say yes to His calling. It was truly different when you began to establish a special connection to our creator. I am confident to say that I'm in love with Him. Those times were really special for me. I've really enjoyed my stay there.
In every stages of my vocation, we were sent home for 15 days to take our vacation and spend time with our family. It was also a moment for us to reflect more on the love of God.
Before I took up my vacation, I already made an application stating my willingness to continue to the next stage of my vocation. Yes, the third stage which is novitiate life. It's the most challenging part of being in the religious life. This will allow a candidate to shape and sharpen the faith through intimate prayer.
Unexpectedly, when I am about to end my stay at the outside world, I changed my mind in just a blink of my eyes. I blowed out the decision, not to come back and continue my stay outside. I wanted to have more exposure and discern more.
I'd been lost for almost 5 years and have been too innocent from the activities of the new face of generation. It was too hard for me to adjust in the first place. One day, I never knew that I was already trapped from the worldly desire. My human desire occurs, it was then when I mumbled a question on my mind, "how was it to be in love with my co-beings?".
Humanly speaking, I fall in love and get hurt. As the years gone by, I still have the same pantings. I longed for someone to love me and when someone came, they will not stay longer. Life is truly a series of games, people don't stay. They usually come and go. I get hurt and cried. I felt rejected and was put to thrash at one instance. It was then that I realized, God's feeling was more painful when I began to reject him and decided to embrace the world than embracing His will for me.
The experience of being broken shaped my whole being and teach me a lot of lessons in life. Yes, I became a victim of love when my lovers broke up with me and divert his attention to another woman. This situation help me to understand more the feeling of how to be a victim of love.